I am not someone who gets attached to things very much. I have travelled too much for that. But some things should be sacred. For example, Heinz is indicating that it may rechristen Salad Cream as Sandwich Cream, mainly because very few customers actually use it for dressing salads. Heinz therefore says it is changing the name of Salad Cream for the first time in a hundred and four years. The food giant proposed the rebrand after research found that only fourteen per cent of consumers actually use it on salads. Its survey suggested that the condiment is popularly paired with tuna, ham or cheese I sandwiches, with fans regarding it as an alternative to mayonnaise. In my opinion, everything I have just written is sick and wrong! It must not be allowed.
It is like the escort girls that I work with and represent. They are escorts. Or whores, prostitutes, hookers, call girls, sex workers, floozies, tarts. Their job and the service they provide does not need rebranding any more than Salad Cream does. Just because Geneva escorts actually spend a lot of time listening to clients talk about their lives, their jobs, their bosses and their wives does not mean that they should be called naked counsellors or horizontal therapists. They have sex for money. And they also listen to men talking. In the same way that salad cream is for salads but you can also use it for sandwiches. Would anyone benefit from calling escorts anything else than that?
Joel Hughes from Kraft Heinz – who clearly never ate the stuff as a child – said “We are reviewing the brands name to reflect how the product is enjoyed by consumers every day, and with the majority usage currently with sandwiches, we can confirm that “Sandwich Cream” is one of the names being considered. There are consumers now who have not grown up with the brand in the household and just do not know about the iconic zingy flavour or what to eat it with” Which is why the name should not change! It is salad cream. Eat it with salad!
And if you book time with a sex worker, you will also find that the clue as to what to do with them is in the name as well.